Do you feel that self esteem takes root in early childhood? Do you feel that throughout your life that root can be smashed. But do you believe that once smashed it can soar again and blossom?

I have been thinking about self esteem and I feel that self esteem takes root when you are a child. When you are a child and you do not feel loved or special, in your own home your root never grows.

When a child tries to achieve some special activity they should be encouraged even when it means they are leaving their soft cushion behind and trying something new.

FOR A SMALL CHILD A HUGE ACCOMPLISHMENT IS:

(1) Learning to tie their shoes.

(2) Dressing and feeding themselves.

(3) Potty Training. If you are happy your child is happy.

(4) Picking up toys and dirty clothes and putting them away.

CHILDREN ARE AFRAID TO FAIL:

Sometimes a child will not want to try something new because they are afraid they will fail. This is when you need to say, "that is okay, you tried that is all that counts there will always be a next time." Add a hug and a pat on the back. These words and jesters go a long way in helping you're child root blossom.

Another place for a child to cultivate self esteem is in elementary school. I feel that apart from the curriculum of reading, writing and math the childs root should blossom. To be able to puff out their chests and say, "I did that."

Whether it is drawing or writing a short paragraph anything to make that child feel special even if it is for only a few minutes a day in their young life.

When a child grows up and becomes a teenage and their root is smashed or never develops this is the time that child could really damage themselves emotionally and physically.

As a young adult when you need to start making choices about your education, career and your spouse. Your root plays an important role. Has it grown and blossomed or was it smashed.

How we make these choices and live our normal everyday lives from these decisions we have made in the past will follow you for the rest of your life.

For some, especially women it is marriage. When your spouse is unhappy who do they take their unhappiness out on - you the spouse the person closest to him?

If he is miserable in his mind and body then he will make your life miserable. You will start receiving mental and sometimes physical abuse.

Spouses especially women will usually take this mental and physical abuse because they are trapped - and small children are involved. This is how people trap themselves into situations that are hard separating from.

When you are a woman with small children it is hard to make the decision to end your marriage. If you are not working outside of your home and rely on your husband to bring home the bacon, you are definitely a sitting duck for receiving abuse.

Especially when you're root has been smashed into a thousand pieces and making a drastic change in your life terrifies you. You would rather go on in this matter instead of rocking the boat.

Suddenly one day something earth shattering happens. Maybe its the death of a family member or maybe its something else. Now life as you know has ended. Now you have to make a decision. Do you end your marriage or whatever your immediate problems are?

Now is the time to be happy and terrified at the same time. If you make the decision to end your marriage this is a huge step in fighting for you and your children's freedom.

NOW WHAT IS THE NEXT STEP?

(1) Move.

(2) Get a job.

(3) Go back to school.

(4) Volunteer.

(5) Hobby.

(6) Join a gym and exercise your mind and body.

TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE:

Or you can choose to do several of these choices. By taking control of your life without realizing it your root will blossom. The sad part of having low self esteem for most of us is not even realizing when your root has been smashed.

EVERYBODY NEEDS TO FEEL SPECIAL:

For people who are raising their children as a single parent your root will blossom when you are in control of your life. Take the time to make your children feel special.

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF:

For me my root blossomed when I started writing a few years ago. When I started writing I was in shock because the writing came out of nowhere. For the first time in my life I had to make decisions about me as a person. I had to believe in myself before this could happen.

For you it might be something different but the key word here is believing in yourself. Get involved. If your life needs a change - change it. Do not wait until it is too late. You will be smiling on the inside and your friends and co-workers will notice the difference in your attitude towards life. Your root will definitely blossom.

I hope you enjoyed my article. Please feel free to read my other articles.

Copyright 2006 Linda Meckler